ON AWAKENING

I think most everyone is grappling with who they are minus what they can do.

Today I stepped on the scale at my gym and saw a brand-new number. It was 17 pounds higher than the number I saw in September. It was higher than any number ...

Part of me wants to tell you what it has been like to gain weight. The fact that I’m larger now than I was four months ago is fairly central to my existence ...

It’s not like me to begin an interview by talking about myself. Typically, these interviews are a welcome and deliberate break from total self-absorption. Wh...

Lindsey’s earliest memory is not her own. At least, not really. I typically begin interviews by asking people their earliest memory related to body conscious...

As a child, Kelsey carved a hole in the box spring of her bed. That's where she hid the wrappers, willing the evidence of her appetite to disappear. She neve...

Sequoia is objectively cool. I would tell you why, but I don’t need to. Here’s a picture instead. Her story starts like that of many other disordered eaters....

When Hannah was 9, she sat on a school bus clutching a stuffed animal. It was a soft little pig. A boy on the bus gave her a sidelong glance. “Why do you hav...

Typically, when I think about eating disorders, I focus on the similarities. Rigid rules, preoccupation with food, secret behaviors, body dysmorphia, shame. ...

I’ve wondered...and wondered...and wondered… about the extent to which recovery from alcoholism mirrors recovery from eating disorders. Until recently, I’d d...

Moon isn’t much of a hippie. In fact, her name isn’t Moon. That was the name she requested. I asked for her pseudonym, and she said “Moon.” In college, she w...

Ever since I began recovering from my eating disorder, I've just wanted to talk about it. Unfortunately, the average person’s reaction is less than satisfyin...

You’ve seen the title, so I’ll clear the air: No, I’ve never been in an abusive relationship. Well, not exactly. I thought I might have been in one once, but...

Some of my earliest memories involve eating with friends - the type of friends whose parents permitted sugar. At Mary’s house we ate Key Lime Pie. At Sara’s ...

If you’ve ever had the flu, you know there’s a bittersweet relief in being too sick to show up. “Bitter” because you need to find a babysitter, miss class, c...

If you’re ever received formal treatment for substance abuse or other addictions, you likely recognize this wheel depicting the stages of change: When it com...

On Sunday, I had the opportunity to share my story in a women’s recovery meeting. These days I rarely get nervous, largely because of this blog. After all: ...

Picture this: You’re sitting next to someone special, and you’re compelled to ask a question that only Google can answer. You dutifully pull out your laptop...

At a certain point in high school, everyone stopped packing a real lunch. A real lunch was replaced by a Clif Bar, an apple, and carrots (360 calories). Beca...

There are a lot of good reasons to avoid working the twelve steps. Certainly, listing out every resentment ever is scary. Undeniably, the prospect of making ...