ON AWAKENING

Look for the similarities, not the differences. From an outsider’s perspective, Chris and I don't appear to have much in common. He’s a man, forty-three year...

To be clear, I’m not asking what COVID-19 means for practicing alcoholics. I’m assuming that, for people who still drink, the virus won’t interfere too much w...

Maybe Valentine's Day stress you out. Maybe you can’t imagine a sober one. Or maybe it's no big deal for you; maybe you'd even forgotten about it it until now...

The other day, my girlfriend asked if I ever thought I would make it to four years sober. That’s a harder question than you might think. When I first quit dr...

This morning I woke early to stomach pains. These are the natural result of a body in transition. About four months ago, I began to recover from my eating di...

Some days, my alcoholic mind plays tricks on me. “You never drank every day," my mind says. “You never had withdrawals.” “You haven’t battled a serious urge ...

These days, my home group is a women's newcomer meeting. I suppose it’s meant for those early in sobriety. With four years, I attend anyway. Four years is ea...

A little over three months ago I moved home to Oregon. My Wisconsin sponsor suggested that, upon arrival, I attend 90 twelve step meetings in 90 days. “90 in...

You’ve probably heard of imposter syndrome. That’s when you don’t feel like you deserve your seat at the table. You glance nervously around the room, waiting...

Yesterday in a twelve step meeting, I sat across from a girl who felt like home. When she introduced herself to the group, I saw that she was one of those pe...

On September 16th, I began the drive from Madison to Newberg, Oregon. Minnesota, North Dakota, Montana, Washington, Home. I was moving home for the first tim...

On Sunday, I had the opportunity to share my story in a women’s recovery meeting. These days I rarely get nervous, largely because of this blog. After all: ...

In recovery, we’re always flirting with the idea of selfishness. There are the worried mothers wondering if it’s “selfish” to leave their kids at home during...

In the last few nights, my dreams have been wild. I’m going through a lot of changes in my life, and any modicum of control I’ve managed to secede in my cons...

Last Sunday, I lost a close friend to the institution of marriage. I’m sure some of you had the same experience; it’s wedding season, and this was one of the...

Fifteen days before I quit drinking, I saw a dinner invite on my then-boyfriend’s calendar. At the time, we worked at one of those creepy places where all me...

I’ve mentioned before that I read a lot of sobriety memoirs in early recovery. What I didn’t mention is that searching for these memoirs on Amazon was like n...

Last week, I said goodbye to a dear friend. She isn’t dead (and neither am I), but she is leaving. She moved 2,000 miles away to begin medical school, and I ...

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about resilience. This trait has always mystified me. My friends used to joke that I would identify potential boyfriends on ...

I’ve got a story and I don’t know how to tell it. Each time I begin, I develop the strong sense that the story isn't over yet. That if I don't wait, I’ll sim...