ON AWAKENING

On March 16th, I attended my last in-person AA meeting. In the month leading up to that, meetings had grown progressively empty. We sat s...

Lately I've been posting here a little less. The reason is not that I haven't been writing. Rather, I simply haven't been writing the typ...

Look for the similarities, not the differences. From an outsider’s perspective, Chris and I don't appear to have much in common. He’s a m...

To be clear, I’m not asking what COVID-19 means for practicing alcoholics. I’m assuming that, for people who still drink, the virus won’t...

Maybe Valentine's Day stress you out. Maybe you can’t imagine a sober one. Or maybe it's no big deal for you; maybe you'd even forgotten ...

The other day, my girlfriend asked if I ever thought I would make it to four years sober. That’s a harder question than you might think. ...

This morning I woke early to stomach pains. These are the natural result of a body in transition. About four months ago, I began to recov...

Some days, my alcoholic mind plays tricks on me. “You never drank every day," my mind says. “You never had withdrawals.” “You haven’t bat...

These days, my home group is a women's newcomer meeting. I suppose it’s meant for those early in sobriety. With four years, I attend anyw...

A little over three months ago I moved home to Oregon. My Wisconsin sponsor suggested that, upon arrival, I attend 90 twelve step meeting...

You’ve probably heard of imposter syndrome. That’s when you don’t feel like you deserve your seat at the table. You glance nervously arou...

Yesterday in a twelve step meeting, I sat across from a girl who felt like home. When she introduced herself to the group, I saw that she...

On September 16th, I began the drive from Madison to Newberg, Oregon. Minnesota, North Dakota, Montana, Washington, Home. I was moving ho...

On Sunday, I had the opportunity to share my story in a women’s recovery meeting. These days I rarely get nervous, largely because of th...

In recovery, we’re always flirting with the idea of selfishness. There are the worried mothers wondering if it’s “selfish” to leave their...

In the last few nights, my dreams have been wild. I’m going through a lot of changes in my life, and any modicum of control I’ve managed ...

Last Sunday, I lost a close friend to the institution of marriage. I’m sure some of you had the same experience; it’s wedding season, and...

Fifteen days before I quit drinking, I saw a dinner invite on my then-boyfriend’s calendar. At the time, we worked at one of those creepy...

I’ve mentioned before that I read a lot of sobriety memoirs in early recovery. What I didn’t mention is that searching for these memoirs ...

Last week, I said goodbye to a dear friend. She isn’t dead (and neither am I), but she is leaving. She moved 2,000 miles away to begin me...