ON AWAKENING

"I spent a year or two in a constant state of inebriation, besides those moments when I was sober enough to find some food and throw it up.”

"I felt like I was just existing. Even if I was just smoking weed, I was not feeling things."

I laid aside my fears for just long enough to sign my first lease with a partner, in my first relationship with a woman.

“My ‘ism started well before the use of alcohol,” says Kristen. “Well before the first time I used.”

Most researchers have a habit of putting themselves under the microscope. “Mesearch,” it’s called. It’s when the person with an eating...

On March 16th, I attended my last in-person AA meeting. In the month leading up to that, meetings had grown progressively empty. We sat...

Lately I've been posting here a little less. The reason is not that I haven't been writing. Rather, I simply haven't been writing the...

Look for the similarities, not the differences. From an outsider’s perspective, Chris and I don't appear to have much in common. He’s a...

To be clear, I’m not asking what COVID-19 means for practicing alcoholics. I’m assuming that, for people who still drink, the virus won’t...

Maybe Valentine's Day stress you out. Maybe you can’t imagine a sober one. Or maybe it's no big deal for you; maybe you'd even forgotten...

The other day, my girlfriend asked if I ever thought I would make it to four years sober. That’s a harder question than you might think....

This morning I woke early to stomach pains. These are the natural result of a body in transition. About four months ago, I began to...

Some days, my alcoholic mind plays tricks on me. “You never drank every day," my mind says. “You never had withdrawals.” “You haven’t...

These days, my home group is a women's newcomer meeting. I suppose it’s meant for those early in sobriety. With four years, I attend...

A little over three months ago I moved home to Oregon. My Wisconsin sponsor suggested that, upon arrival, I attend 90 twelve step...

You’ve probably heard of imposter syndrome. That’s when you don’t feel like you deserve your seat at the table. You glance nervously...

Yesterday in a twelve step meeting, I sat across from a girl who felt like home. When she introduced herself to the group, I saw that she...

On September 16th, I began the drive from Madison to Newberg, Oregon. Minnesota, North Dakota, Montana, Washington, Home. I was moving...

On Sunday, I had the opportunity to share my story in a women’s recovery meeting. These days I rarely get nervous, largely because of...

In recovery, we’re always flirting with the idea of selfishness. There are the worried mothers wondering if it’s “selfish” to leave their...